February 19, 2008
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Progress?
Who has not, at some time, been lonely in the midst of a social event? The feeling of our separation from the rest of life is most acute when we are surrounded by it in noise and talk. We realize then much more than in moments of solitude how strange we are to each other, how estranged life is from life…. The walls of distance, in time and space, have been removed by technical progress; but the walls of estrangement between heart and heart have been incredibly strengthened
- Paul Tillich
The Shaking of the FoundationsI came across this quote in my reading and found it to be very profound. Have you ever experienced lonliness in the midst of a crowd? I know I have! In the middle of life’s hustle and bustle I am sometimes taken aback by it’s sheer superficiality. All of the small talk about the weather and the kids and the “projects” of our lives reveal very little about our hearts. I know it is because we have a hard time trusting that someone else will take care with our hearts — our concerns, our fears, our dreams, our sorrows, our joys — so often we hide them behind idle conversation about the trivial and insignificant. We take care not to offend, because heaven forbid we should step on someone else’s toes, but do we take care to care?
One of the very interesting things about this particular quote is that it was written in the 1940′s. When I first came across it, I assumed it was current, because in my mind, it is even more true today than at any other time. I could be wrong about that. I do think the internet has taken technology and in some instances (like Xanga and other personal blogging sites) used it to make people connections. On the other hand, I can think of ways it has been used to create walls between people as well. The most glaring example of this (to me) is internet pornography. In a recent article I read on AOL concerning intimacy barriers between married couples, I read this: “Some people consider online porn to be harmless ‘supplemental sex.’ Problem is, though, it can turn into a form of virtual infidelity, where the porn-distracted spouse subverts his desire into fantasies and prevents the couple from having an emotionally complete and connected relationship. Talk it out. In person.”
In terms of helping people make real connections with each other, does the internet represent progress — or not?
Comments (3)
In terms of helping people make real connections with each other, does the internet represent progress — or not?
Interesting question. I think the Internet and other techonology has created levels of connections perhaps not encountered in the 1800′s. I think that face-to-face and long term interaction creates the “real” or the deepest connections with each other, for in that relationship can you fully communicate with the tonal and facial expression and with body language, all of which we use to send and receive messages.
However, the Internet and other technology have allowed us to reach out and make connections with others who may have had similar experiences. For example, no one in my circle of friends at church have experienced cancer in their family. While they can reach out their hands in support they can not empathize. Through my blog and through the internet, I received the support I truly needed when my mom was diagnosed with breast cancer, the support from those who have experienced what I was experiencing. In this way, progress has been made. Were those connections as deep as the face-to-face relationships? No, but those connections remain as we dialogue with each other through email and blog comments how our families are doing.
The book for your mother is absolutely amazing! What a treasure, and your brother is a lovely writer. Your mom must be so happy.
Person to person. That is what marriage is about.
I have found some great friendships on the internet, but they are more like “penpals”.
I think online porn is disgusting. There is a lot on the internet that is a waste of time.
OH! and wowie
I missed you